Sunday, December 19, 2010

Scarred for Life

Tonight I had this conversation with my oldest son.

Austin: Mom, Dad wants to know if we can use your camera for Scouts tonight. We are learning, Photography.

Me: " Will it come back home?" I am quickly thinking of ways to keep my camera home & safe. "I don't know...there are pictures of me on the camera that are only meant for your Dad." (I know! Yes! I said this out loud! As soon as the words left my mouth, I wanted to wring my own neck!) "I probably should not have said that in front of you. I don't want to scar you for life?!"

Austin: Shaking his head as he keeps texting and he replies, "Don't worry. You have already scarred me for life, several times. I am use to it now."

Me: With sarcasm in my voice, "Thank you Son. That really helps calm my nerves."

Austin: He hugs me goodbye and says, with the same amount of sarcasm, "Mom... I do what I can.."

I tell you, this parenting gig is harder than it looks. It is like sports. I love playing them, but it doesn't mean that I am any good at them. It is sad but true, nobody but Goodlookin wants me on their team. I can't say I blame them. Heck, I don't even want to be on my own team. Now in a game, you can walk away from a bad game. Parenting? No you can't leave. You wouldn't want to. Well...most days you wouldn't want to. Not all of us are blessed to be athletes or maybe parent other humans. All my plants are fake for a reason. Goodlookin took pity on all the house plants I was killing and just softly nudged me toward the fake flower & plant isle.

After Goodlookin came home and all the kids were in bed, I told him what I said to Austin. (Which, I was referring to the pictures my five year old took of he & I after I got home from the hospital. I really did not want those pictures out. You can't erase eyeballs! I don't even look human in those pictures.) Goodlookin' didn't even blink as I explained my situation. He just laughed and said, "He is a funny kid! Don't worry our kids are use to it." Funny, that did not make me feel better.

If our kids turn out somewhat normal, it will be because of Goodlookin. I am more of a freelancer in this parenting thing. Luckily, Goodlookin' keeps us all grounded and glued together. However, let the record show, I picked out their Dad for them. That should say one good thing about my parenting morals. Atleast I wanted them with one sain adult!

I never thought I would say this, but I have never been so happy that I won't be attending my own funeral. I don't want to know what they will say about me. "Well, you know Mom, she just couldn't keep her mouth shut." Which is true, but still I don't want to hear it. I will end with this statement that I thought I would never say to myself, "Thank Heavens my mind is going first!"

Please don't leave parenting tips. I have many books, but they don't work.
It was like those organizing books, I borrowed from the library,that I ended up paying for a year ago. I was so disorganized, I lost them.